My weekly ritual of writing about my Covid-era disasters continues this week as well. At the end of this episode, I was about to tear my long hair from my head and the duo ofmy mother-sister was laughing hysterically!

I love chicken, fish, cottage cheese and tofu fillet, especially when they are grilled to perfection and served with creamy mashed potatoes and grilled/sauteed “foreign” vegetables.

In my effort to recreate healthy restaurant dishes, I randomly decided to cook basa fillet with sautéed vegetables.

Mind you, before this episode, forget cooking, I had never ever even touched raw fish. By the end of this session, I vowed not to touch fish for cooking ever again.

Although I broke that vow recently because as per Bhagwat Geeta, “parivartan sansaar ka niyam hai”. (Change is the only constant)

So one fine Saturday, I ordered basa fillets from Big Basket for cooking in lunch. As usual, my parents remarked very sarcastically that “hum aisi-waisi foreign machliyaan nahi khaate, Rohu sabse achhi hoti hai”. (We don’t eat random foreign fishes, Rohu is the best). I had to tell them that basa is a sea-fish that is majorly eaten in Kerala region, so it is technically Indian. But as usual, they ignored me. 🤓

My mom guided me “a bit” on washing the fillets although they were cleaned properly. The aroma or the smell in the kitchen was intense as we had never cooked sea fish before. My mom even started commenting that the fish is stale but I had to remind her that sea fish smells like that only.

My naive mind considered putting the fish directly on the pan for cooking but my mom retorted that “marinate nahi karna hota hai?” (Don’t you have to marinate?). I decided on a simple marinade of lemon butter sauce. 

I quickly searched the recipe and added butter in a heated pan. Due to my usual “unmindfulness”, the butter burnt to a brown liquid. But that did not deter me, I added salt, pepper and lemon juice to it and used this liquid to marinate the fillets. Then I kept them like this for an hour. 

Now came the time to sear it on a pan. Mind you, I had never fried or seared a non-veg item before. So naturally, I was absolutely innocent when the lovely incidents ensued. 

I added very little oil to the pan and did not wait for the oil to get heated. I thought fish is as easy to cook as an egg fry or a cheela, and it will come out on its own.

Except that it did not!

So I put the fillet on the pan, did not cover it and kept on standing there like an idiot while my family had their lunch. After 1-2 minutes, I assumed that the fish would have gotten cooked on one side.

Except that it did not! 

It got stuck to the pan because the oil was less and it was not heated. My mom came and then guided me on adding more oil and covering the pan with a lid. Meanwhile I was hungry and frustrated on the outcome and the kitchen was smelling awful because of the nausea-inducing “waft” of burnt sea basa. 

Somehow, I cooked the other 2 fillets and also sautéed the vegetables. The I took the photos and started eating the fish.

I instantly wanted to puke! 

I have had basa at restaurants before and loved it, but my own creation tasted horrible. It was cooked but smelled and tasted weird and I just could not get over the outlandish odour. 

My mother noticed my discomfort and got me the leftovers from lunch. She reminded me sarcastically that she does not know why but she had cooked extra dal that day and that I can have it. I welcomed the homely lunch and eventually had to throw away the fish because no one in our household would have it.

It was an extremely tiring and harrowing experience for me and I understood that I do not have the aptitude to cook non-vegetarian food. My mom has remarked multiple times that “naak kataoge meri” (you will bring shame to our family) if I get married into a non-vegetarian family and since my mind goes blank while cooking non-veg items.